Colour me black, natural and proud.

Earlier this week, I took out my faux loc extensions and wore my natural 4c afro textured hair in a twist-out, I thought it was cute and funky and I was really feeling myself. However, as the day progressed (as afro hair does when there is oppressive humidity) my carefully coiffed waves began to puff up into a "twafro". In other words it began to look more like a 'fro than twist-out.

It was only a matter of time before 2 presumptuous souls deigned to ask what was going on with my hair, latent disaproval weighing heavily in the questions. I felt a twinge of annoyance, why should I be prompted to justify or explain why my hair was the way it was. If I was White, Indian or "mixed" as we like to say in West Indian parlance, I could let my hair down in its natural state and nobody would bat an eyelash or ask a question but for me to wear my hair in its natural state was unacceptable and seemingly incomprehensible...something must have gone wrong.

For some people afro hair is only deemed acceptable if your hair falls on the "mixed" end of the gradient of afro textured hair. Even naturals have fallen prey to this with their incessant quest for "defined curl patterns".   It is intrinsic in that assertion that if your hair does not fall into this category it is bad and  you must scurry away to the nearest weave shop or put relaxer in it because "natural hair is not for everyone". Well , if not you, the person from whose head this hair grows naturally, then who exactly is it for?

Incidentally, one of the fastest selling commodities in the Caribbean is hair weave.This is in no way an indictment of those who prefer relaxers or weave. I am not a "hair nazi", I celebrate every person's right to autonomy over their body. However, what I am acknowledging is that colourism and the black hatred inherent in it is an ugly and still very pervasive relic of our colonial past. This is a very live issue for persons of African descent and it has resulted in light or high brown skin and "mixed" or straight hair being seen by many as preferred beauty ideals. To be called black is an insult, passing as "mixed" is a compliment. These misconceptions invariably stem from internalised racism which has historically labelled characteristics of blackness as undesirable, inferior and ugly. Years after the abolition of slavery the easiest insult is still to call someone "black", "black and ugly", "tar baby", "dry head" or "picky head" or to speak negatively of thick lips, broad noses and bold eyes, characteristic traits of persons of African descent.

It doesn't help that black is infrequently highlighted as beautiful in the media. Growing up, those who rocked natural hair were generally frumpy, dowdy and timid, none of which I aspired to be. I hated my natural hair, I thought it was hard, unmanageable, uncontrollable and just plain ugly. It was nothing like anything I saw in magazines, in music videos or in the television shows or movies that I watched. None of the heroines in my books had afro hair, invariably they were blonde, brunette or redheads with green, blue or hazel eyes. I didn't have access to books with strong compelling characters described as beautiful with dark skin and afro textured hair. Barbie was white and blonde. Disney princesses were not black.When I happened to turn on my tv and see black people, those persons were light skinned, with either long curly hair or long  weaves. Dark skinned girls were not en vogue and most certainly not those with natural hair. As a result I would not have been caught dead without a fresh relaxer or slick weave. Back then, because of the images I had internalised I felt like I needed to have this "look" to be considered pretty.

This is why I was so elated at the meteoric rise of Lupita Nyongo as a dark skinned fashion icon who has embraced her natural hair . However, I long for the day when the Lupitas of this world become mainstream and not simply  regarded as anomalies or token black girls in their fields.  It is not just enough to have representation if representation borders on tokenism. I want to see dark skinned women with natural playing lead roles in television shows and movies.I would love to see multidimensional characters who experience love and joy and success. I am tired of stereotypical and caricatured roles, I am tired of seeing them in roles where they are suffering. I want to see fiesty dark skinned girls with natural hair in mainstream romantic comedies or playing roles in positions of influence and power. I also long for the day when afro textured hair is not regarded as unprofessional or as something to hide if you have any hope of being taken seriously as a professional. I want to see dark skinned natural haired women breaking glass ceilings in their fields.

I believe the lack of positive representation of dark skinned persons in mainstream media has been internalised and is reflected in our value judgements of beauty. If dark skin and afro hair was our beginning point of reference when we considered beauty I doubt these characteristics would be regarded as ugly or seen as undesirable.The natural hair movement is becoming more popular in the Caribbean. I believe that this is because of increased representation in social media and the showing of afro hair in a positive light.  This kind of representation has been affirming for me and for other women. It has been refreshing to see smart, beautiful , accomplished women, from different backgrounds embracing  their natural hair and looking fabulous while doing this. It has been uplifting to see black women rejecting antiquated notions of black inferiority and celebrating their beauty.

It is so important for us in the Caribbean to redefine and re-imagine beauty. I hope that the natural movement is more than a fleeting fad. I hope it is a signal that we are willing to shake off  colourism shackles and emancipate ourselves from learned black inferiority complexes.